Heyaa Bunnies!
A lil quick update before I go to work.
The last couple days I have been very inactive and also thinking a lot.
I am constantly working. I wake up in the morning to work on my apartment (we are almost done),eat lunch just to go to work until night and then usually I have time for myself but usually spend it just laying and chilling cuz I feel so drained. On weekends it's similiar.
Yes I kinda can dress up bcuz at least once in a week was a birthday party or similiar (this week again lmao) but to me it feels more like pressure.
Y'know, having to dress up....which I usually enjoy.
Because I want to be lazy for gods sake.
I want to sit in sweatpants and do nothing...I am sick of doing stuff.
BUT like I said, we are almost done. My dad said technically I could move in this saturday.
Now it's going faster than I thought and surprise surprise...I did not buy any furniture LOL.
I will be sleeping on my couch because of that. I ordered my bed now but I didn't even receive confirmation that it's ordered...idk.
But feeling drained also make me think about other stuff. like, for example quitting gyaru.
Gyaru is high maintenance, which I love but because right now I can't really maintain it and I felt like I want to change...switching to a more natural look.
I was thinking about quitting gyaru and then all the "consequences" (idk how else to call it rn) would come with it. For example, not buying brands, leaving the comm, not reading gyaru mags anymore...and realised, no, that's not what I want.
I am gyaru. Even if I don't dress up rn or don't want to tan anymore...
We tell newbies this all the time. That you don't HAVE to look gyaru 24/7 (sometimes you just can't) and you don't need a tan....but then we get imposter syndrome if we do it.
I think it's also because of all the "rules" that are setting up rn.
Because of the many newbies that aren't doing gyaru "right" way.
I was pissed as well but I thought a lot about that and tbh...
we were the same.....!!!!!
We looked like no gyaru in the beginning!!
It took me 3 years to finally getting in a position I can say, I actually am gyaru.
3 years to find my own style.
There are gals in the community that reinvented themselves since they are started, but they are still gyaru.
So why don't we leave them....??
let the newbies do whatever...if they don't want concrit thn let them be...
getting furious over it is only draining our energy..
let ppl live...and let the new gyaru be their own community or whatever.
Ppl getting upset about the community splitting up...but that's normal?
You can't be friends with everyone.
I wasn't gyaru back then but listening to everyones stories, it was plenty of gyarusa and sometimes you would see other gal in international meets and that's it.
So why getting bothered we are not a bunch of ppl anymore?
which leads me to the next point.
Currently I was unfollowing every gyaru account on my hime acc on ig.
Don't get personal, I still follow everyone on my private.
You know what happened?
Ig became so peaceful.
Reels, feed...everything.
Only good vibes.
It's like a great hidden fairyvillage rn or smth LOL.
Which of course made me think of quitting gyaru even more.
But like I said, I won't...I am too passionate about it.
You can't quite quit something you actually care about and love, right?
But I quitting the comm also feels wrong, since I made lots of friends here.
And it jsut doesn't feel right to "throw away" ppl that I like, just because sometimes I don't feel good?
Y'know what I mean? It doesn't make sense to push ppl away that are there for you and you care about?
So I am quitting the community, but not the gals.
I won't be active in the community for a while.
But I would love to stay in contact with the gyaru I made my friends.
So I decided to just live my life, I will keep my blog too and read other gals blogs frequently...
however, instagram?
I will stay in my fairyvillage LOL.
Of course I will post on my private from time to time, also checking up on ppl, but only when I have the energy to do so...please don't get offended by this, I love every each one of you.
maybe sometimes I will do a gyaru break and be natural...who knows...
but I don't want to pressure myself or anyone to follow rules or anything.
I still need to post the gyaru challenge that I failed...extremely.
I also got a post prepare to show the "before" of my apartment.
which is kiiiinda not really a before.
Trust me, you don't want to see the before before...
with mold everywhere, wallpapers hanging off from the walls or finding burnt noodles in the oven...
I am going back to reading my gal blogs now...even though I don't comment all the time...
I am watching all of you LOL
