mentally preparing for bleach

 Hellow!

So the thing with the cat didn't work out.

They were both on my bed last night, dog in one corner, cat in the other.

They were STARING at each other...my dog has never been so awake and cautious.

It was like they were waiting who is to attack first.

I was like hold up hold up hold up...that doesn't work.

I put the cat back to my brothers apartment and although I felt bad for pushing him away, I checked 15-20 minutes later and saw that he was a lot calmer and comfortable.

However it did have one pro that I had him with me:

He currently has this issues that he is doing his business in the apartment and I was able to watch him for a day and see what he does.

He repeatedly went to his toilet but not inside, figuring the roof must be the problem.

I left it away now and he doesn't seem to have any problem anymore, he uses his toilet normally now.

Going to further watch this behaviour the next few days.

So, technically I can bleach and dye my hair today but for some reason I am super anxious?

I never feel like that..normally I am super hyper to immediately try things out with the "no risk no fun" attitude but now I am nervous..

Maybe it's the 20vol.? 

I am going to put the developer on my roots first, after I am done I will do the "second" root where just dye was and when I am almost done I check how much the roots lifted...maybe I will apply it into the lengths? but technically I don't need to after my vitamin c mask.

It's probably paranoia it won't be light enough idk..

Ok but at some point I HAVE to start...and now is a good moment I think.

xoxo rinmero

cat and dog challenge

Hello,..

so first day completely alone at home.  My parents left last night, leaving me and Chita alone.

He was ok with it and immediately fell asleep. He is also already used to be with me in my apartment sometimes...so he will be fine.

However, after coming back home from the walk with him, I went over to my brothers apartment and his cat shat all over the living room (and he pissed there too).

I was told to look for his water and toilet etc. from time to time but honestly I couldn't do it. 

I think he is doing his business all over the apartment as some sort of protest for leaving him alone.

So I took him into my apartment now.

which is a big task btw.

He is a home cat, he is not allowed to go outside, I have to make sure to close all my doors 24/7.

He tried eating my plants, so I have to make sure he can't reach them when I am not close.

At the same time, Chita can't eat his food because it is poisonous to him.

Also they are not friends yet...they can be in the same room for a bit but I wouldn't leave them together unattended I think. But that's also because they never had to live together. They have to become friends now.

His name is leo btw, he likes to sit next to my bed in front of the windows the whole day, so I decided to also put his food there...chita can't reach it but he can normally sit/stand and eat if he is hungry.

He hasn't destroyed any furniture so far or pissed somewhere neither.

Currently both just chill, chita is actually sleeping next to me in the living room.

Sometimes leo is crawling in to my closet (since it is an open closet) and lays there but there are both calm. Which is a good sign I guess.

So I stopped monitoring them now every second and want to use this moment to just blog.

I have just made myself some lavendar tea to calm down...I still feel stressed and with a low mood.

Maybe it is also because I have a big responsibility to take care of them both at the same time now.

But it has only been a couple hours so far with them together in my apartment.

I think they will be fine somehow and then I can calm down as well.

I originally planned to write new posts but I think while I still feel so tense in my chest, I will read a book or something calming.

xoxo rinmero

nostalgia of the good ol times

 Good morning!

Yes I start to sound like an old woman if I keep being like "theee gooood old timmes when everything was still okaaayy" but it is just TRUE.

I have been browsing through old blogs, including some gyaru-sa blogs that have been inactive since 2011-2012 and hurt my heart really.

I am trying to stay positive and not everything is bad nowadays but at a certain age you DO WISH some times back.

That being said I remembered to check out the blogs that are struck out on my list.

I usually see when someone doesn't blog anymore, they are inactive, struck it out and won't check anymore...but sometimes I still open them from time to time to see if people came back.

Also the reason why I leave deleted blogs there too..maybe they get revived or idk.

And I am glad I did that again...I saw Tsuki posted 3 months ago!

At this point: Heyyy Gal!!!Missed you <333

Love seeing how you are still rocking Lolita currently, left a comment too :))

I wish more people would come back to blogging but I get it can be a pain in the ass, especially with the pictures. I still haven't finished my singapore posts because of that reason!!

As soon as I have more than approx. 5 pictures it is soo damn annoying..

Posting regularly prevents that problem tbh...

I upload my pics via the browser on my phone on a post and save it, then open my laptop and start writing down my thoughts, check one last time in the preview and then upload.

Takes less than 15 minutes per casual post.

Plus I do not have social media where I additionally post. This is the only format. So some people might upload on platform A, B and C..that takes some time, whereas I just upload here and I am DONE.

That's why it is so "easy" for me.

Now I have vacation and all day doing whatever I wanna do, so obviously I have more time to write and I will write some more the next few days.

At first I wasn't sure if someone would read or like it but I figured it just needs some time where others have the ability to sit down and read through it.

AND DONT FORGET TO COMMENT haha

It means a lot actually.

I will try finishing my singapore post the next few days and do some more scanning as well...we will see.

I am still feeling a little down and sensitive, so I will also spend time just relaxing and give my soul some rest. My chest feels so tense lately, I cannot sleep and I am awake until like 3 in the morning as well.

talk to you later again <3

xoxo rinmero

Note: this post took me exactly 15 minutes...I checked the time, I am not lying lmao.

what gyaru looks like - the hard to swallow truth

 

I didn't have this one in my list but it popped up in my mind earlier after I finished my last post - YAY BONUS!

I think - I hope - this one will be quite short.

The question of all question...

If gyaru is not just mindset, if gyaru is not just a lifestyle, but gyaru is not a "fashion" either...what is it exactly?

How does it look like?

To me gyaru is not a fashion per sé, because it adapts to new trends and isn't bound to rules.

It changes over time and it gains new priorities even.

To me gyaru is more a culture, however it is a visual culture...

I honestly get annoyed now when I see stuff like..

Gyaru have blonde hair - EXCEPT some, they have dark.

Gyaru have a tan - EXCEPT some, those who are shiro.

Gyaru wear heavy makeup - EXCEPT some who wear more natural ones.

Gyaru have artificial nails - EXCEPT some who didn't.

and this whole spiral of but you don't NEED, you don't NEED, you don't...

Yes, gyaru isn't bound to rules, technically you can have pink hair and be shiro gal and whatever.

However, most of the time when they mention these exceptions, they are just exactly that: EXCEPTIONS.

Gals with dark hair, got the look so nailed down, they are still recognizable. The gals in around 2010s had such an instinctive fashion, they were shiro gyaru, it was an "official" thing during that time. The makeup techniques changed over the years and yes, some are more natural of course if you put manba right next to himekaji.

There is one simple rule, the only one when it comes to appearance of a gal: You have to be recognized as one.

If you remove everything the style usually stands for...you are not gyaru, simple.

Imagine basic girls being like..

"I am gothic in my heart.

Gothic is mind.

black is my favourite color <33 (I just didn't wear any on this picture)."

You see how ridiculous it looks, right?

The best way to look gyaru is by participating in their trends and join in the fun.

In 2025 that means: get a tan, bleach and dye your hair, do the makeup, wear the nails..

simple.

You might be able to experiment with your own personal style and give it an individual touch

Look up your favourite gyaru models and get inspired by them.

xoxo rinmero

what it means to be a gyaru abroad

 

Hellowww,

I feel a little bit better today, done a couple rounds laundry, just sat down and have the energy to write some more again.

Today is a topic that is relevant to the gaijin gyaru community most and gaijin identity within the fashion: what it means to be a gyaru abroad.

Can I even be gyaru, if I am not japanese?

I think it is a difficult topic to discuss because the gaijin community is spread over the whole globus and each place is different in their values, in their culture and their national identity as well.

It is difficult, because you cannot speak about something in an umbrella-way that everyone experiences different and push it all into one drawer.

That's why please note here, I am trying to find words to explain it how it is to be a gyaru abroad from my perspective, specifically in the country/forest-side of germany in this case.

I remember reading Rays post about how gyaru is a japanese substyle and being a gaijin means you will never be authentically gyaru. That we find our place within the gaijin gyaru scene and it is to be seperated from the original gyaru scene. At first I agreed with it, the japanese gyaru are on their own and then theres the gaijins. Over the years it actually feels like it is split into 3 groups now: the "original" japanese, the gaijin newbies on tiktok and the gaijin vets, due to conflicts within the community over the past years. I have been thinking about this sentence so much, it actually gave me a little crisis a months back that made me question "can I count myself as gyaru even? what makes me gyaru then?" (maybe that was also because I don't have a connection to the gaijin community) and I rejected the label. I didn't feel like I wanna be a poser.

Little note to Ray here: don't worry, I don't think what you said was wrong...I think it was the right approach to start this topic and discuss it.

I saw a video a while ago on pinterest with the caption "makeup tutorial from an ACTUAL gyaru" and I thought: what a weird way to phrase this. Who is giving you the right to call yourself an ACTUAL gyaru and all the others are...not? People forget that they used to beginners too. Who are the "not actual" gyarus then? Is there a law about it? Maybe I think she is not an actual gyaru. If we follow Rays approach, nobody of us is an actual gyaru who is not japanese. What if someone is japanese but grows up in, let's say america? They do not have the same surroundings like jp gals from japan. Do they count as "actual" gyaru?

I read the ganguro girls book yesterday...I saw screenshots of it a couple times some years ago and I was interested in reading it before but how life is, when you have a job and responsibilities, you put something on your to-do list and it takes months until you are finally able to look it up, because it is going under sometimes. What I noticed is, the gals back in the days were mostly teens around 15/16. In that age you have no responsibilities, jobs and kids to take care off etc. and many of them said they want to practice ganguro until around 20 only. It is a little detail that immediately falls into your eyes. Most likely it was the culture in japan. The girls knew at some point they had to stop or prioritize other things. Although japan also changed throughout the years, it is still pretty much conservative. If you want to get a good-paying job, you have to look the part and get the education for it. It is actually pretty rare that you can do both: be gal and take care of your adult responsibilities...nobody knows that better than the onee gals of the community that are over 20. The environment in japan forces many ganguro to stop with their passion and although we in the western world may have more freedom in some cases, we also have our own struggles where gyaru mindset comes into action.

Gyaru mindset is having passion for fashion and makeup, being happy and just wanting to dance and enjoy life...and that by also rebelling against societal standards. That rebellious mindset can look different according to the place someone lives in.

In my case, I live in the black forest: most people prioritize practical clothes over fashion. The people are very minimalistic, focusing a lot on "saving money" and being efficient. Rebelling against standards here means to wear impractical clothes, just wearing something that is flashing and looks cool. The people here praise getting a good job, being a part of the "working system" and I don't take it as a priority...money comes and goes, I  rather have a job that allows me to be myself. 

The phrase "gyaru is mind" comes to action when gyaru mind is wanting to look the part. It has been abused in the couple years as an excuse why you can't look gyaru because it is "all mindset" apparently.

No, gyaru mind is wanting to look like that in every environment and making it work somehow.

Gyaru mind is having passion for fashion and makeup, being happy and just wanting to dance and enjoy life...

That applies to me. I don't feel less authentic just because I am not japanese. Although it took me a couple months now to get to this result. I personally feel less affiliation with the gaijin community than the japanese community in some way. The gaijin community is lacking too much creativity and independence in some way.

I remember when Black Diamond said a couple years ago, they want to spread the gyaru message across the world until everyone is gyaru. I doubt they had in mind, that the foreign gyaru have to be seperated from the japanese. 

Being a gyaru abroad means, that you want to style yourself and being rebellious to the standards of your surroundings, regardless of what standards that may be. Being gyaru abroad means having the gal mindset and acting that part, looking fashionable and wild and having fun with it.

xoxo rinmero

why gyaru is freedom

 

When I thought to write about this topic, I had a strong emotion within me, that I felt inside of me and I kind of knew what I want to say with this post but struggled a little bit how to start or how to phrase this emotion into words.

After brainstorming a little bit, I try by just starting with one thing and see where the words take me.

Those who know me for longer, know that I have been struggling a lot with my gyaru identity over the years and I also wanted to quit a few times, just to always come back to it.

Although I also have different interests and I like to try out other styles from time to time, I felt most comfortable within the gyaru sphere. It feels like home, like a place that I belong to.

I couldn't point out further what exactly it was, it just was like that.

I read old gyaru magazines, see a model having an interview and the words and sentences they say, I just resonate a lot with it.

I never can leave it behind for fully, my heart is beating for it and instead of dropping it when it didn't work out that well, I just kept finding out new ways to be myself and do gyaru.

Now, I feel and understand more than ever what it means to be gyaru and to be able to experiment with a personal style but still staying within the same group.

It's this passion to be fully you - your looks being your never ending project.

When it comes to makeup, what eyeliner you take and what lashes... it starts with specific techniques you follow to have that "gyaru look" nailed down and it took me to a religious routine I follow every day while applying, where now I like to bring some creativity in...using techniques that apply to ME and how I want to do MY meiku.

The hair, that was just "blonde" because that's like THE color for a gyaru to oh, I like that shade, and I want to try out this technique, and this looks so cool, I wanna do that too..

The nails - that are like THE statement of my style, the trait that makes ppl recognize me in public. I could go out with no makeup and no style, walking in my apartment or anywhere and I have my attitude with me...it is a constant reminder of who I am, even undressed.

the clothes, that used to be a cosplay I wore, trying to "perfectionize" a look by copy-paste them and now I wear what I wanna wear, what I feel comfortable or cozy in. What makes me feel sexy or just who I am as a person. I get my inspo literally everywhere, it doesn't have to be specifically gal. I watch closely to cuts, patterns, colors, textiles. I do no think of categories like substyles anymore, instead I think of vibes to match a look to that I wanna do. The goal being a good coherent outfit that matches, instead of something that looks "so gyaru". When I say smth like this, it is most likely clothes that have leo/cheetah-print, glitter or gold chains on that fit into the "typical aesthetique" of gyaru, which I phrase like that to decribe it in a short way. 

A look that used to be a "goal" to achieve is now just....me.

I looked closely at gyaru magazines and also sorted them by time and when you do that, you will notice that it never had to be about brands or labels. It was just girls following trends that were popular at that time. Which also means, the substyles the gaijin world likes to keep alive so much, were just terms to describe a specific style of that time period..it is not up-to-date.

A newbie might like the "substyles" because it is new to them but at some point they will get fatigue of seeing the same things over and over again and THAT'S when it is time give it a personal, more latest touch to it and become your own type of gal. Give it some progress.

The most popular models didn't get so popular because they were good in copying the style so well, they got popular because they were unique, because they had something about them that made them stand out.

I feel free to wear whatever I want, wherever I want.

I have fun experimenting with my style, getting inspo from all corners and mix things.

Lately, this passion is getting more and more passed on to making collages and saving pics unfortunately, instead of actually styling myself with something new, because I need to save some more money right now  T.T

I try to make new outfits with what I have in my closet right now already, but I reached the limits now I think xD

Nonetheless, gyaru allows me to be fully myself.

I do not have to worry about fitting into box - to me that means freedom.

When I was younger, I was insecure about myself and how I looked. I always wished I was one of the pretty girls and got bullied for being ugly as well. Gyaru set me free of the expectations of others and gave back my confidence, owning myself and who I am. I do not strive to be like others or the "pretty girls" anymore. I see beauty in the things I wear, in the meiku I do and it brings me joy.

It's giving you power as well - People around you will get that aura from you and admire it. I often heard people compliment me, telling me how they think my style is amazing and they think it is awesome how I walk around. They usually tell me in situations, where I forgot and don't pay attention to it. It is a reminder, you inspire people to be more daring too. You become a role model in that way, even if you don't intend to.

I had a lot of days where I felt sad about people just wearing jeans and a shirt, or sweatpants even. I miss creativity and unique styles. I live by the motto "be the change you want to see in the world".

Be yourself and be unique - the others will follow.

After dressing up at work, I could tell over time (even if the change is very subtile), that the women started dressing up more too. They would come up to me and tell me "look what I wear today" and feel joy about showing me their newest dress or a combo they wanted to wear. I could sense this and I love every bit of it.

Fashion is my passion and I love to see more people embrace it.

If you are struggling with the feeling of not being "gyaru enough" my current tip is, to just go with the flow. Whatever interest you will show and if it is not gyaru, that's okay too. You can find joy in smth that you don't need to practice yourself. 

Just be yourself and have fun with it.

Gyaru is freedom because it allows you to wear what you want, wherever you want. Without fear or limits.

xoxo rinmero

going to write some more

 Heyaa!

So I left work earlier today because I didn't feel well..it looks like I undercooled myself again.

I seriously don't know what to do...I pretty much work with all kinds of prevention to not have these issues all the time, especially because I know I get this more easily since I am a child.

That's why I wanted to get my blood checked and all, I don't want this to be something chronically and I have to deal with all my life but the doctor didn't find anything last time and when I suggested going further into a different direction I just got dismissed by one of the helpers.

What do I pay healthcare for if we don't receive any?

(Unfortunately all doctors are like this, so switching doesn't work).

So I spend my time today under a blanket.

I did do another vitamin c mask yesterday and the red pigments are almost completely off.

It really is just the same blonde I had with a copper shade that can be easily changed with the right dye.

I got them in the mail last evening..

The bottle looks so small...Chris made great suggestions for what bleach to take and all that but it is just very expensive for me atm..sorry T.T

so I decided for these now...which are still pricier than the stuff I used before but at least I save up on bleach powder, I will be using the same as before but with less developer.

Like I mentioned in one of my earlier posts, I got these professional dye and will mix it to achieve the color I desire.

I am suuper excited to use these. Maybe I won't go back to box dye after that?

I enjoyed writing my last post and currently I feel like distracting myself with just writing about some things going on in my head and all and let ChatGPT give me suggestions for other topics...there were reaaallllly good ones.

I have like 10 drafts now with ideas to write on.

I titled one of my earlier post "low mood high energy" and then didn't even talk about it LMAO.

But yea, since a couple days my mood is really low and I feel sensitive about a lot of things.

Writing about gyaru and just what makes me passionate was a good distraction, also thinking about some funny memories and all that. For you guys they were words and stories but to me I can see the pictures when telling, the bright smiles of people that go "Wow" about my nails and all that.

Idk how and when I will post some of the things I will write on the next few days but since I am mostly home then, I won't have anything else to post so be prepared LOL.

xoxo rinmero

Being Gyaru in the workforce

Hey, it's yapping time! LMAO

I have been thinking about writing a post like this for some time now but wasn't that convinced of it yet but after talking with Ray, I decided to give it a try.

The idea came while talking with Tamiko and the dressing restrictions she has with her new job.

I told her some of my stories and apparently it comforted her? it made me happy to hear that I could help just by...talking about myself lol. So I thought about making a post about my experiences as a gyaru in the workforce but I wasn't sure if ppl liked to read it that much or where to start.

Thanks to Ray, I decided to give it a go now.

This is not a tutorial or some sort...just some storytelling.

Your hair...

While I was still an apprentice I used to work at a hotel. I was convinced I would sweat off makeup, so did not wear any. Nails were a hygienic no-go. We had uniforms (Dirndl), so no room for fashion either. The only thing I could do were hair and tan. I wasn't really good at doing my hair back then but I was more open to experiment with bleaching or dying.

When I cut myself a layers cut, it gave this really cool look I liked but I struggled putting it up in a ponytail. I had to pin it on every damn side like at least twice. I had naturally curly/wavy hair..so one time I had to be quick and it looked like a mess. The restaurant manager (who was more or less my "boss" in some sort) looked at me in a confused way asking me why my hair looks so weird and I replied to her about my layers cut and she said "Ah. Grow it out." phrased as an instruction. I was put back about this tbh. I made sure to look neat for the job, it was logical for me to look neat working at the hotel but I never had a direct instruction about how I have to look like, directly in my face like that. It also made me question wether I want to work in this kind of field long-term. The job was fun, sure, but I love fashion/makeup and co. too much. Not being able to experiment with my looks sounds like a future I don't want to live in. I tried searching specifically for jobs that allow more room for having an individual style.

Same job, different year. I had super bright red hair. The dye was absolutely terrible with the staining, I have posted it a couple times in  my blog as well I think. My hotel was part of a bigger area where we also had a clinic. I was working at the restaurant, the patients mostly old people around their 60s+, the only younger people being soldiers. Every.single.table.complimented the color. What can I say? it was so out of the ordinary but such a pretty color as well. The women asked me what brand and color it was (I mixed it myself to look this color and applied on bleached hair) and the men were positively surprised. When the patients almost all left to their room, my training instructor was still in the house and saw me with this color the first time. Note here: she was an evil witch but instead of taking her comments personally, I thought her evil way was super funny. She asked about my hair and all and said I looked like a prostitute xDD I couldn't stop laughing.

Honestly, a lot of students were hurt by her comments before and I didnt realise how immune I actually was to her personality. Sometimes I'd get annoyed with her sure, but never offended.

 

Being completely covered up

After leaving the hotel, I went to a production company which produced cosmetics. There were some pros: nobody cared if you had piercings, tattoos or flashy haircolors because you are literally hidden from public. I also had the option of working late. My shift would start at 1pm and I was done at 10pm. I was a night owl. I loved it, it was sooo cozy. I couldn't wear nails out of hygienic reasons again. I thought it might be interesting to see how some cosmetic products (even those directly from the shelves I used to buy off) was produced. Ngl, I view packaging and products differently after that. We had uniforms again: like a tunic or duster of some sort, hair had to be covered, you had to wear gloves and it was during late stages of covid, so also masks. I was completely covered up and hidden away from public. I had no reason to go out as well. The possibility of looking "however I want" became a cage to me. I could not only not really experiment with fashion etc....it felt pointless to me. I was not able to practice my passion, maybe even less than it was in the hotel. After they announced, due to lack of orders, they had to narrow down late shift and most of the time I had to work morning shift: 6am start. I said F- that and quit xD

Do you have a weapon license for nails like this?

I  started at my new job: front desk at a furniture shop. We are allowed to wear what we want, as long as it looks clean. A lot of the salesmen wear suits. It was the first time I could get nails done finally and honestly I hated the experience haha. Finding an appointment was almost impossible due to my shifts. the nail artists never had the stuff I wanted, I had to tone down a lot. It was quite expensive compared to the quality: I had sets where the nails started popping off after only a week. I enjoyed talking about beauty stuff with someone a-like tho. It inspired me to teach myself how to do nails and it didn't take long for me to go a bit more crazy...and long with my designs. The comments from customers were as expected: from surprised faces and excitement to the super old phrases "You need a weapon license for nails like this" or "You don't do house chores with nails like this!". You hear it over and over again, you stop reacting to it. All they get is a mild smile, staying professional AH haha. I think my most favourite out of these stupid comments are the customers that watch me type on the keyboard, clip papers, wrap glasses and dishes and then proceed the payment, handing out change to them  and THEN THEY SAY "Can  you work with nails like this?". I mean, M'am, you just watch me work with them???? Although, I have to say, over the years the comments got less rude and more positively surprised. A lot are genuinely interested and they love to look closer and analyze them. I am pretty much the only person in the area who has nails like this, they have never seen nails like this. And when they ask where I got them done and tell them I do them myself they are impressed. The customers enjoy my nails. There are even some who recognize me by them. I could change meiku, style and haircolor but they see the nails and they go "oh, it's you. Let's see the nails you have today".

And my boss..?

During only 3 years working there, I actually had already 3 different bosses. The first one pretty much didn't catch the long nails phase. He was the one who hired me but left after 2-3 months to a different house of our company: bigger house, bigger pay. When I was in the interview he saw my expertise of working in the hotel, told me he had good experience with people coming from the branche and complimenting me about my looks, telling me I look neat. A colleague I worked with at the hotel worked there too, didnt know tbh, but found out after my second interview with the boss. I think it gave me an advantage because she told him about me. I was a hardworking person, couldn't be something bad, I had a nice experience working with her, helped her a lot as well. When you live in a small town/countryside, most ppl know each other, so ruining your image can seriously ruin future options for you, I am glad I left a good impression which helped me in this case. After I started working there, two weeks in I got myself some box braids. I was nervous but I reaaallly wanted to try them out and my colleague said it would be fine. My boss met me in front of the building before actually going in in the morning and he said "You look different today", assuming he disliked it but we didn't go further into the conversation. At the end of the shift he asked me a bit more about it. I told him I got it done myself and it took me two days (no lie, that shit was intensive) and he seemed impressed, he didn't actually criticize it. Later I would find out, that his wife is a hairdresser. Without wanting to go assess or score this, I think you get the same feeling like I did. He was the strictest out of all 3 but he never was discontent with my looks. I wore my brown y2k wig, sometimes short dresses, heels, all that...but obviously nothing too crazy. My makeup was also very natural back then. Not many experiences, except of the box braids, he could have criticized.

Don't attack the printer

The second boss I had had a wild personality. Sometimes he would make us all go mad, we wish he would just stay in his office and leave us alone. He didn't hold back, he would just say what he thinks. He criticized my nails but in a "father"-type of way, he has a daughter just a little bit older than me: "You know, as an old man, I am not the position to say anything but I think the shorter nails looked better", I told him that I prefer it longer, also because I have more space and room to do designs and brushed it off. One day I had to copy a paper and he stood right next to me. Some screens take my finger better and some react to my nails, our printer only reacts to my nails, so I had to tap the screen with my tips and had some stilettos..he was like "Don't stab the printer"...I was rolling out of laughter. That was like the funniest comment I ever received about my nails haha.

Skirts don't match the weather

My colleagues got used to my style pretty quickly. In the start they commented about it without further scoring it "look what she is wearing again". They knew about my wig, I was open about it. A lot were worried then when I bleached it again "But don't overdo it, so you don't have to wear wigs again". It is quite funny how they just let me do, with a slight worry. When I got them blonde, the reaction was exactly 50/50. Some said it doesn't look good and the other side said it looks amazing. Funny thing: the 50/50 were men vs. women. The men all liked the blonde. Why are men so obsessed with blondes?xD I felt a little bit boring with my style, because I kept wearing long skirts and I am not that old yet, so I got a new pair of a short skirt around that time as well. Summer and autumn was over and it got cold, when I decided to wear the skirt it was about to get snowy. My colleague looked down on me and all he said was "the weather gets colder, the skirt shorter?" and I had to laugh because it didn't really match, yes haha. In total, my colleagues CANNOT hold back...they ALWAYS have to comment. When I came sundays for stock-taking, I decided to wear a top with warm cardigan, shorts and high knee boots and paired it with a scarf. I wanted to be able to move freely because we have to go up and down ladders and sit down and etc. A skirt would have bothered me. AND THEY THOUGHT I WEAR A PAJAMA T.T They are the worst xD

These are some stories to tell haha. I don't want this post to be TOO long..stuff happens on the daily but most of the time I don't really pay attention to it that much.

In summary: There are many looks and comments and it isn't easy to do your job but also have the freedom to express and be yourself. I pretty much juggle between all the time. Most jobs in my wage-class are absolutely anti-fashion or in the hygienic perspective difficult. I am glad I found a job in a company where you can be yourself, as long as you look tidy and "presentable". I found out over time that most people may look, but not all looks are meant negative. Most are just geniunely curious or impressed even. There are only few people that are rude and these kind of people will always exist.

Maybe it's in my character or the way I was raised by my parents but I am not sensitive about these comments. Instead I tend to just laugh and watch it from a humorous perspective. Not every comment about your looks should be taken personally. Sometimes all that matters in that moment is a good come-back with a funny statement to make everyone more relaxed or just show that you didn't take the insult, most likely they will stop. There is no fun in annoying someone who doesn't get annoyed, you get what I mean?

Maybe someday I will make a part 2 of this...maybe it even helped someone, idk,?

Maybe there is something specific you might want to hear my opinion on regarding this topic?

Also that would give me inspo to talk more about...

I started this text like 2 weeks ago and now I finished it haha.

Going back to bed now.

G'NIGHT.

freezing

 Yo!

I wanted to post yesterday but I was damn tired.

So it is super coold already, I am wearing COTTON tights..

There is still sun out but I am freezing so quickly..

my colleagues start making fun of me again (like every year xD)

I don't have a proper pic of my hair yet but I think you can tell it is almost blonde again..

I am not sure if I do a vitamin c mask again?

I also want to put selftanner on but I can't do both..

Today is my day off and I just came back from a walk with my dog..

when I woke up I could feel my throat is sore, I feel like getting sick...at night I freeze with my current pajamas...

I have two days left of work..then I will do my WHOLE laundry again and in my vacation when everything is dry I want to put my winter clothes back up.

Yes I am freezing that much..

Everyone else is still walking around with thin blouses or shirts wth.

I currently go with my winter jacket to work.

I also wanted to show this song but forget every time (SRY)

Lafee is a musical artist that was very popular among young girls when I was still a child/teen...and she is going to publish a new album in october and have published two songs already.

I am so happy to see her old style come back!!

When me and Josi went to the Porsche museum I started playing her songs while we drove, we sang the whole texts...we got distracted from singing so much that I missed my exit LMAO.

I remember she made english versions of her songs as well (to my english-speaking readers)..

The translations are not 1:1 but that's because it is really hard to translate some of her texts, it is just a specific kind of german language...I personally dislike the english versions because I feel like it is not the same vibe...like, the original message doesn't come across with english.

Her texts can be really harsh sometimes..

This song for example:

The original title is ,,Heul doch".. the verb ,,heulen" means crying or whining...,,doch" is a word that doesn't really exist in english...in combination with verbs it means "to just do something" but with the emotion that the speaker is pissed or annoyed...in this case you could translate the title with "go cry about it!!" but that's too long, so that's why she chose "shut up" I think.

In the same song she had the phrase ,,Ich hab dich endlich rasiert"...rasieren means to shave.

Literal translation would be something along the lines of "I have finally shaved you"...but it means something like I finally caught you/was able to fight back.

That's the vibe that got her so popular.

Most of her songs were about heartbreak or critiques against society.

Her song ,,Mitternacht" (Midnight) is about a father raping his child at night.

Her songs were always powerful and strong and we missed that about her.

Her new song ,,Benzin" (gasoline) is about suicidal thoughts and depression.

,,Dein Herz brennt und du brauchst noch mehr Benzin" = "your heart is burning and you need more gasoline". She is singing about comforting that person and being there for them.

I am super excited for the new album <33333

I have posted german songs sometimes and translated a few lines before..

just checking up if you guys like that? xD

languages are so interesting sometimes..

 

xoxo rinmero

low mood high energy

 yo!!

I finally could catch up with my blog list...sometimes I post and post and find not time to read tho...

sorry, I always catch up a bit later <3

So I got the notification they finally shipped my lenses.

So they messaged me that the eclipse got sold out?P

idk why there is the possibility you can put smth in your cart and purchase and then it is out of order....how to these ppls systems work?

well I then chose a different pair of...like, an aquamarine color that I had in my cart as well before sorting it out.

I just did a vitamin c+dandruff-shampoo mask on my hair yesterday and most of the reds is out.

The lengths are a light copper blonde or smth rn? I dunno if I repeat again..

I am currently trying to mix self-tanner with body lotion..since I apply lotion at night anyway, I want to gradually build up and keep up a tan this way.

yesterday I mixed 5 pumps lotion and 1 pump of tanner (the st.moriz transparent one) and it did...*breath in* absolutely nothing.

Now I did 5 pumps of lotion and 2 pumps of tanner and idk when I look down now almost 3 hours later I feel like I see....smth??

I scanned and uploaded Blenda March 2013 yesterdy...finally...after weeks of saying I will do it.

This was actually the perfect inspo I needed currently because it matches the time period of my "boom".

After looking through it, I noticed I could sort out clothes better on shein as well (yes I am still browsing lmao).

Wanted to scan ageha after showering as well but was tired af...today I also won 't have time.

But next week I will have "holidays"..my family decided to leave and since I need to watch the dog, I put some of my vacation days there.

I will be completely alone lmao.

I have plenty of time to do my naaaillls, my haaaiiir, some scaannss..maybe makeuuupp...

oh and I want to sort my closet.

I wore a pullover today. My colleagues looked at me like I was crazy but sry I was FREEZING...it is pretty cold already (to my taste).

Well I have to clean my dishwasher now and then head to bet.

G'NIIIGHT <3

xoxo rinmero

greetings from teenage lynn

 yo!

I am in full creative mood..

I want a full makeover again HAHA...

so basically I am having BIG nostalgia for my teenage years...

you know, the 2012-2015 weheartit/tumblr-stage kind of inspo...

So here is a lil checklist.

I just ordered a new developer (I still have bleach laying around somewhere) and two colors..

I will give my roots a touch-up and try the next few days to get rid of red pigments as much as possible to avoid having to lighten them as well..

I am planning to go back to a light blonde color..I loved that sm.

I wanted to go back to dark originally because it is so damn damaging but I figured I will just go with a lower developer this time.

I knew my developer was a bit much (40 vol)  but I took it too easy..

Let's see how that goes.. For the color I aim to mix a 9.1 ash blonde with a 9.3 gold blonde in a ratio of 2:1 to give it an almost platinum color but with some warmth left.

Here I ordered a "professional" hairdye to get better control of the results, since the box colors are just so damn random...even with orientation with the numbers, they most likely always add too much warm pigments to avoid people getting green/blue hairs lmao.

This is the closest inspo pic I could find randomly right now..

It probably will be a pinch darker and I want some more warmth in it..

but it's the closest now to show, all the other pics were too dark or too platinum..

I will cut my hair a bit as well..currently the back is short bcuz of my hair that snapped some months ago...that was actually a chunk of hair that I lost, holla... Now after it grew out it really shows how thick my hair can be lmao

and the front is blunt as well because of the "bangs" I wanted..

I might add some more layers to it, to make it look more intentional and give it a shape and give my chunk back also some thinner ends..right now it looks so blunt lmao.

For the style inspoo, I want to get more basic pieces in natural colors but with a sexy/fortunate cut..so I can accessorize and "glam" it up more.

That means a lot of black, beige, white and maybe grey as well.

If...if I will buy colors in the next few months, I think of bold (either neon or deep colors like burgundy, emerald green, navy etc.).

A bunch of gold acce of course..can you remember the bracelets combo everyone loved?

like this! Also more spikes....eventually - I still have to dress for work.

I still have some bracelets floating around somewhere.

I used to love it sm when I was younger..

For the meiku I want to keep my current eyestyle with the heavy glitter tearbag and DIY upper lashes..instead of no lower lash at all, I want to find some I like to put in the front, because my own are a bit thin to actually show up...the droop will be just eyeliner for now.

See? 

Nails will be kinda the same like now but focusing on old techniques from time to time (like molding acrylic petals..loved that sm). I also like to go back to stiletto... ballet/coffin shape is nice too but just for a lil change inbetween.

I will give self-tanner on a more disclipined routine a shot and I have an idea to "fix" the problem with the tanner being uncomfortable and smelly but we will see...

I like to have some slight tan...like a mix to end up between kuro and shiro hahaha..

I am going to be both lmao.

Also I am hella back into my ageha vibes <3

I try to get inspo from there and take it into my shopping.

That way I will be kinda a reiwa-gal you could say, but with y2k inspo peeking through.

I made an inspo-wall a couple days ago, I think it catches my current vibe pretty well?

I used to love heels like in the picture so much but I doubt it will be for daily wear.

I am going to get some basics first that I really need and then I can still opt for getting a pair like these.

I actually ordered from shein now haha.

I put some clothes in my wishlist but at some point I got the same clothes over and over again while scrolling and there is not much variety, idk..then I looked for jewelry (ageha inspo here) and found a bunch for around 1€ each or smth...but when I looked for nail stuff...woah, it is sooo much cheaper than on aliexpress wth.

I didn't wanna spend more than like 50€ approx. since I am saving rn..

But I decided now to give it a lil bit more room and get a haul with everything I currently need.

So the haul consists of:

-nail gems and line brushes (mine r wrecked)

-new tips...got the 3XL (!) stiletto ones now

-a new phone case with a charm as well

-some bracelets/necklace

-tights 3x (I desperately need some..all I have are super pale ones and they do not match my skin tone at all....all the others already broke or are constantly in the laundry)

-3 black dresses (a midilength, maxi and one with cheetahs on..)

-one pair of boots in brown with a small heel

-a new glitter for the tearbag bcuz I was curious

I desperately need boots, so looking to add boots with the next order as well but opted for these now to have a more flat variant...my flat boots are both broken (but still don't let water in lmaoo) so needed smth in ankle height...picked brown ones bcuz I think they can be matched well with my other dresses..most are midi/maxi-length. I already have black ankle boots, it's with a heel but nonetheless.

However, I want to get more shorter dresses/skirts and then code it with knee high boots. I have only one pair like this and they are very rough and not very elegant.

Well, that's it so far I guess haha.

The package will arrive in the middle of the next week it seems..going to show you everything <3

xoxo rinmero

another failed hair experiment lmao

Yoo..

I finally tried crochet...and I HATE it xD

my mum braided my hair the night before..

this is the pattern I wanted, although I wished for a zig zag in the back but she said she can't do that?

Well considering, I have tons of layers....and bangs...and shorter hair in the back because it snapped a couple months ago...

my mum did an amazing job..i love her T.T

I stuffed it in the back so it won't lay down anymore

it was pretty flat..

3 bundles looked so big...I aimed for just using 2 but it's impossible with this technique.

I started immediately the next morning..here I already have two packs on and it was just sooo thick.

Some knots already opened and I tired putting them in horizontally in the back but it didn't work.

Here I didn't know wether I want to continue or just give up right away..

I loved the feeling of having the lengths lmao

and here is the finished desaster:

Ok...so for the top I tried doing the illusion knot method.

On the left you can  see it worked pretty well actually but on the side part it just didn't want to work..

and I run out of hair....

The knot would turn around under the braid, so the knot ends up on top again...even after triying to layer the hair on top to cover it up..

which resulted in it looking like this!!

Idk...I used small pieces but they look so thick on the pic now lmao..

maybe I have to take even thinner ones...but I already had so thin ones..

Again here...it looks horrible..

My mum then said we should have done zig zag in the back...

but she said she can't do that the night before?? T.T

Well wouldn't have changed the horrible outcome on the top.

It could have been so nice tho T.T

my mum was braiding my hair for 1.5 hours..

and I stood in the bathroom for 5+ hours now!!

My back hurts I just wanted to sit down..

I still have it on my head but I probably will take it down..

I can't go 2 seconds gone from the bathroom or moving just a little bit without it getting tangled up or being straight in my face..

idk what to do..

I dislike my current hair sm T.T

xoxo rinmero

quick update

 Yoo!

The last few evenings I was so damn tireddd..

I would come back home, eat, take a shower and then went straight to bed xD

I bought a new cup from work...The design was so pretty but it was too expensive for my taste and now they were on sale...and I had to take them.

look how pretty <3

Today was my mums birthday...she is 50 now !!

We celebrated at home with a few close family members..

I took some cute pics with my niece.

She is so OBSESSED with my nails and today my necklace too..

she sees everything bling and glitter on me xD

We joke that when she grows up she will copy me xD

"I want something like my aunt has"..T.T

Look at the pots the mum from my sister in law gifted to my mum xD:

The one on the left with the hoops is my favourite T.T

My mum said she wants to braid my hair tonight, so that tomorrow she can go back to baking etc.

And I personally prefer to braid today as well...so I have all day tomorrow putting the crochet in.

And they are still freshly washed..

Please pray it will turn out ok now T.T

I bought 4 packs but washed only 3 last week...

when I grab them all together they are already pretty thick...

I like some volume but it shouldn't end up too much on my head.

super curiousss how it will turn out.

I will wash off my makeup now <3

xoxo rinmero