I kinda missed having a blog...so here I am back.

For those wondering: I did not delete everything, I just converted everything into a draft for myself.

Yes, new start I guess haha...


I also want to make a new reading list.

I don't really want to waste my time on reading somebodys blog who doesn't even care about me.

So if you want to stay in touch, contact me and I would love to add your blog to my reading list♥️

Ok...I wasn't really talking about my life lately, so I don't really know where to staaart🤣

There is so much going on but I want to keep this post short, so I might talk about three things that are most current rn (?) If I said that correctly.

Nr.1: Job change 

Yes, I quit again🤣 So the last 6-9 weeks I was jumping between two jobs. I had my job in the production of a cosmetic company where I quit and while I still had to work 4 weeks there (german law), I was working a minijob at my next job which was the hotel I had my training in for three years. It seemed pretty good, like it would actually go uphill but boy we were all wrong. It's now even worse than in August where I quit there the first time. The moment I started working fulltime, it was going crazy. I am working there now about a month but I will leave soon again. I will start my new job on June 20th as a receptionist/disposal worker at a big furniture shop. I am excited and so happy I got the job♥️

Nr.2: Hair 

Lmaoo obviously. It actually has been almost 3 months now since I touched my hair with dye etc. the last time...that sounds recordbreaking for my habits. This whole thing with the wig is going SO WELL...I decided to not touch my hair at all anymore. I am still debating wether to use henna again or not tho...but I will not chemically dye or bleach it anymore. I rather get human hair wigs if I feel like a change..they might be super expensive BUT SO WORTH IT.

The wig I am wearing right now was *cough*..cheap.

I paid around 220€ for it and even tho that sounds like a lot of money, for that kind of length and style it's super cheap. I looked up and normally wigs would cost 400-700€ of that style...and it's visible to me it's cheap.

The hair looks a little bit weird on the ends. As if it was put in the wrong direction and the roots are on the end. I also did the mistake of using heat too high (despite using heat protection). If I don't use the highest mode on my natural hair, nothing will happen but I forgot that this is not my hair. It was too hot and a lot of hairs burned and broke off, so the wig is not in the best condition anymore. However I still want to keep this one longer to make use of the money I spent. I use lots of conditioner and hair mask and that works OK so far.

I do plan on buying a new wig soon. Even though I could afford one right now, I have other priorities and decided to save up and use this one longer. I might end up dying it in a red color sometime but rn I enjoy the blonde/brown color I have right now.

Even though I have lots of wigs in my fav list right now, I tend to take this one:

For the only reason I can dye it whatever color I desire. I plan to go for a reddish brown on left side and a reddish pink on the right side. Split-dyed. And after that, I don't know....
I might purchase the wig around January/February next year. Yes, again... long time for my standards🤣 however I planned braids next month or in August. I always wanted to try some and that would actually be perfect to wear a protective style while letting my hair grow...I need to show you next time my growth.
It is quite slow for my standards. It used to grow quicker but maybe there is a diff reason for that. But nonetheless...it is good growth currently.

Nr.3: gyaru lifestyle?

Seriously, I am going back and forth wether I want to define myself as gyaru or not but one thing is for sure: I currently do and wear whatever I want.
Actually the most gyaru shit ever right?
I go shopping and tanning, do my nails, meet my friends, read gyaru magazines, watch gyaru dvds and so on..
I am struggling a lot with my closet tho..there are pieces that I wanted to keep because it is one of the things I always wanted, or bcuz it's pretty and maybe I go back to that style etc.
However, I keep asking myself "do I feel comfortable in it?". During most of my gyaru times I used to wear stuff because it looked cool or I wanted to achieve a certain look but I always struggled with my confidence because in the end most of the stuff was not comfortable to me. Never mind if it was tight dress with heels, big dress and tiara or just some oversized shirt with sneakers...I didn't like it on myself. Which is very much the opposite of how I felt towards the styles. I think I started analyzing what exactly I liked about the styles and currently try to go more towards that.
For example most of my time I was into hime. However it is time consuming styling it, many clothings were "too cute" or way over the top..so I eventually dropped it. Now I realized I liked the femininity of the style and not the princess aspect of it. Also I liked that most hime dresses are A-line or flare which is very flattering to my body type, since I am flatchested but have big hips (compared to my chest, yknow in proportions).
That's also the reason I dislike tight shorts...it makes the wide hips even more visible.
I also am rethinking my skirts. Maybe it's part of growing up (idk haha) but I just don't feel comfortable anymore with super short skirts...in fact I bought lots of midi and maxidresses rn.

I try to avoid fitting into an aesthetique or making myself look a certain way.

It's quite difficult, especially nowadays where everyone on social media has like a "theme" on their profiles but I feel like I am more happy when just wearing what I feel like.

My goal is to be 100% myself and in order to achieve that goal I have to let myself fully "float".
Means that I change styles almost every second.
Surprisingly I shop way less this way now.
Technically I expected to shop more, since now I "opened my borders" but instead I shop less, because before buying an item I am not thinking "that would look good with xy. For xy style" like I used to and instead I am thinking "do I like it? Do I feel comfortable in it? Do I have matching pieces in my closet?" and that works so much better.

Let's see where all of this is leading to.

There is so much to talk about but I really don't want to make this post HUGE. So I stop now.
I hope some of you guys are still there.
Pls send me the links to ur blogs if u want to stay in touch♥️

2 件のコメント:

  1. yaaay you're back! I love the butterflies background!! Love the hair color too~♥ I understand the rethinking of the closet. It's good to think "do I like this, do I feel comfortable in this?" Versus buying it just because. But, I will say this, I ALWAYS regret giving my stuff away. Every time I think I'm over a style or a piece of clothing, I get sad months later when I realize I don't own it anymore lol
    - Amiman♥

    1. Luckily my brain is too small to keep that haha. I always forget what I have in my closet if I don't see it with my own eyes...so when I sell, I forgot I had that item lmao. I luckily didnt have any regrets yet.🙈♥️♥️