Since I mentioned it in my last post, here is an excerpt of "the psychology of money" by Morgan Housel:
Bill Gates once said "Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose."
When things are going extremely well, realize it's not as good as you think. You are not invincible, and if you acknowledge that luck brought you success then you have to believe in luck's cousin, risk, which can turn your story around just as quickly.
But the same is true in the other direction.
Failure can be a lousy teacher, because it seduces smart people into thinking their decisions were terrible when sometimes they just reflect the unforgiving realities of risk.
I am in awe how she always tends to find the right words, her observation is spot on and reading her blog is like having someone mutual by your side.
I am quite the opposite, I rarely find the words and a lot of emotions I have are inside of me, brewing and even if I try to find words for them, I miss something or feel like I speak too superficially.
Maybe because I don't think in words, I just feel. idk.
My mind has been more in spirals than I actually let out in my posts.
I merely mention that my mind was acting up or something.
Right now I am sick, first mentally and now physically too (:.
I have been sleeping most of the time and now got a flu as well.
I feel like I need to cleanse myself, from inside out.
I thought a lot about my new years resolution from last year as well that I mentioned in my reads of 2024 post (which I planned making for 2025 too.)
"I have already mentioned it somewhere in my last posts.
I want to plan more in advance and also live more.
I have kept to myself a lot now and I miss being the careless person I used to be.
I also want to focus on getting back on track with learning languages.
I want to progress in my Chinese and start really learning Japanese in 2025!!
Also want to save money to go to Japan then in 2026 I guess :)"
I thought about what worked well this year and what didn't.
I barely planned in advance
I became even more careful
I abandoned chinese and didn't start japanese
I also wasn't able to save much money, in fact..this was the most expensive year for me.
For the transparency:
It has cost me around 5.000€ for my travel to singapore+weekend trip malaysia.
5.500€ for my new kitchen that is not paid off fully yet.
and another 2.000€ in total I lost while trading.
Those are the big numbers, and a ton small ones of course.
Considering I make like, half of what the average german makes in a month, it is A LOT.
Was it a loss? Not really, but it wasn't a plus in financial terms either.
My singapore trip helped me a lot in character build, my kitchen helped me feel better in my everyday life and the trading losses were just the price for the education about it.
My last years in isolation I gained energy back that I have lost.
2025 was the year I put in most energy (mentally) and re-build a lot.
I have customized my grok and it helps a lot better now.
Learning how to use ai is better than just blindly using it.
I literally tested it.
I gave it hypothetical ideas to work out.
I gave it questions, where I knew what the answer is.
I watched how it would react if I turn the conversation around etc.
My goal was to fully understand how it works.
When I do A -> respond in B?
that way I know how I can use it and how I can't.
It's rarely the topic that is the problem.
It's the user.
In the end it is a tool, not a magical ball that knows all answers.
My problem for this year was blindness to my own faults.
I was sure I have gotten "better" after my isolation but did not take into account that I am still human with flaws and every flaw will take it's consequences.
This might be a long post.
I want to "cleanse" the system to go on and not drag this with me wherever I go.
The reason why I probably kept blogging.
It's a space where I can just let my thoughts out, especially if I have no one to talk to.
Polarization and narrative
I have been kicked from leftist sphere to right channels.
Being involved in both made me appreciate the golden middle.
I realised how between leftist influencer a lot of information is missing, however the other spectrum is not any better.
One thing I absolutely hate about current "right" influencers is how obviously they are polarizing.
I take for example the party Afd in Germany.
contentually, a lot is correct which they say but what bothers me is how they keep instrumentalizing fear of the people (doom is around the corner-narrative).
Especially, because there is no alternative atm.
You can only choose one shit or the other.
The system is rotten from within.
Wether we do it intellectually or morally.
Both paths are straight ways to hell and I am at this point where I believe you can only go vote and scratch your paper to make it invalid.
Log out and stop wasting time on events which you cannot change.
Sovereignty is a lie being told to make you believe you have control.
That includes non-political influencers.
I already deleted TikTok, Instagram and co.
After a lot of Tiktokers went to XHS, it is filled with the same trash content, I have barely been using it now either.
I only use X now.
It used to be a good space to take information from (and despite a broad opinion of how it got radicalized, I still believe it's the best platform), however because the pay is so damn low atm, influencers feel the need to polarize to effect the algorithms.
I have seen german Xers having fights between each-other for push-effects.
There is for example a german journalist, which is highly controverse for her opinions -> polarizes a lot.
People who are blocked, screenshot her posts and repost them to hate on her and fuel the hate of others as well.
These are the moments I log out.
I don't want to waste my time on hate-fueling.
In general I reflected a lot on how different narratives make us, our opinions and our actions change.
The butterfly-effect in full power.
With ai, it's going to be even worse.
What are you supposed to believe, if you cannot believe, what you believed?
What is truth, what is not?
It made me take a step back, not react to whatever you see.
Take in but keep it to yourself.
Maybe there is another position around the corner proving it wrong, who knows.
Don't judge others for what they are believing.
They are either trapped (have no other choice) or enslaved their emotions (fear or greed).
Maybe just don't know any better, just like you.
Be compassionate. Be humble.
Practice what you preach
One of the main bad habits I have is that I never give up.
You might think "isn't that good?", well not always.
I always tend to think there is another way.
Plan A did not work -> maybe B
B failed -> maybe C
C failed -> maybe D..
and so on.
So I am continually in a spiral of failing and standing up.
that includes fashion, but also newer interests like trading.
I keep saying on my blog "you can be interested in gyaru but don't have to be one".
I think it is time to practice what I preach.
I connect to gyaru in a theoretical level, but the practical one seems outdated.
I just evolved past that.
I quickly mentioned it in one of my last posts where I told you the story of how I watched old children movies again (like Barbie or Winxclub) and it felt so silly to me.
I used to love it as a kid but as an adult it lost the spark.
When I re-watched it as an adult I cried because I knew I have grown up.
I am not a kid anymore.
I feel the same about gyaru.
When I take a look at it from distance it seems to me like I am trying desperately to hold on to something that I have just grown out of.
My interests shifted, I don't relate to it anymore.
Maybe I felt like I am betraying my old self?
I still love gyaru itself and like to take inspiration from it, obviously.
but personally, I need to move on.
The trading same play.
I kept making new strategies and tried out different approaches, figuring out how to succeed.
I changed my settings in my ai to -> brutally honest, with recommendations for progress.
This little change, made everything turn around.
Before that: Every theory I had, I worked out with ai to see what they say and they would recommend the best way to approach it.
Now? Every chat, same answer: don't.
95% of retail underperform.
And there is one simple fact it told me that made my mind shift:
"no matter how much you learn and analyze, it will never beat the insider information".
I asked it which mistakes retail does and it pretty much re-told every mistake I have done.
Like in some book "the good old tales".
I've met with my ex-chef when I worked at the hotel. I appreciate having conversations with him because he was always this neutral, rooted, intellectual to talk with.
He changed my mind a lot in the past but some of his wisdoms get more clear after waking up.
One thing he said to me was more or less "the stock market is scam. Where is greed, is a scammer".
Back then I thought he just doesn't have experience with it but now I realize he was 100% correct.
That's why neo-brokers are spawning from every corner.
They profit from you not knowing.
Waking up from that made me realize I absolutely lost my original intention.
It was never about money, I just wanted a way to save money without losing buying power.
I wanted to have a reachable investment and got fully lost in the field.
I felt like, the more I research and do, the better I get but caused more harm in the end.
Current strategy? World-ETF.
Nothing else.
diverse and low fees. Put in and don't look.
Boring but better than nothing, at least for now.
Since I don't look up my portfolio and analyze and calculate every event I feel at such ease.
I can breathe again.
He had a similiar take on bitcoin: "If bitcoin was truly free, they would ban it".
And I think he has a good point.
I already thought it was skeptical seeing banks, states and wealthy individuals investing in it.
It makes it not different from any other asset and it shows: every time the stock market had a dip, bitcoin had one too. It became a mirror.
I just started the book "the psychology of money" which was sitting on my bookshelf, recommended by my grok. Even the first couple pages were enough.
You realize that success is more about luck than most want to admit.
I have seen yesterday a post of Sophie Rain on X who made approx. 100M dollars with only fans.
I and many more in the comment section felt stupid for working.
Then I took a step back.
Actually, data shows that most accounts fail. The market is oversaturated.
These are a few stories where they succeed but are more rare than it shows.
I went on her profile and I felt deeply sorry.
She seemed so empty to me.
There was just this shell with nothing else behind.
And there are many more, lured with the promise of getting big amount of money, selling their souls for it.
Money is a tool, not a goal.
Selling your morality and soul for it is a bad trade in anyway.
Invest in yourself
This has been my prio nr.1 always and this hasn't changed but I added a new goal for it.
Something made me realise that one of the deep hidden flaws I have is lacking confidence.
At first it sounds contradicting, because all I do or say seems confident.
But am I truly?
I keep saying things like
"I don't care what others say"
"I do what I wanna do"
et cetera, et cetera...
but when looking at the actual SKILLS I have, I barely have any.
And noticed quickly that every time I was thinking of XY I could be good at my instant reaction is "I am not good enough".
I keep comparing myself with superlatives.
I like writing -> but I can't articulate well.
I like being creative-> but I haven't fully taught myself a skill long enough.
I like fashion -> but I never evolved past copy/paste.
Also when going to that fashion exhibition in singapore, I realised I compare myself too much with people who have been doing it for YEARS.
Not to mention, they probably have help from specialists and don't do it all on their own.
This definitely hurts my confidence a lot more than just how I look to others.
It's something deep inside me that makes me feel "less".
Whatever idea I had, I failed.
and the small successes get unnoticed.
I asked a few people around me what they think my strengths are.
And most said what impresses them about me are my ideas.
That I always come up with something new.
and that surprised me, genuinely.
Mostly, because I didn't see it as a strength.
There's also other "construction zones" about me, that I have ignored for too long.
Building the person you want to become
I keep thinking about what person I want to be.
And we are being taught that this is the right way to work on yourself.
An internal pygmalion-effect.
Mel has mentioned working on yourself in one of her posts and I do agree in some way.
But lately I have been questioning if this theory doesn't have borders as well.
Is it really healthy for someone, to pretend to be someone they are not?
Or trying to be different?
I kept thinking of the person I want to become.
My all-time goal, or journey, to become better than the person I was yesterday.
But it also frustrated me, especially when I wasn't like I wish I was.
I am not stupid, but I wouldn't say I am smart either.
I tend to be quite naive and hopeful.
I am not as rational as I think I am.
I am actually very emotional, just in a different nuance than others.
I currently think that the traits of myself, that I assumed were weakness, trying so hard to get rid off, are actually some strengths.
We don't need more rationality and coldness.
We need more empathy and humanity.
Self-progress in some degree is good,
but denying yourself, only gets rid off the person you are.
Every human has something good about them.
Emphasize on your strengths, don't ignore them.
I am running out of words now but I think part of my thoughts came across now.
I don't think you need a new year as reason to change and make new goals for yourself.
I feel like I can make a cut here and start my new resolutions.
be more offline again
online is too much noise, even without toxic sm.
Talk more to friends and family.
Don't force going out, but spend the evening with a nice dinner.
Or go to museums if you like.
spend time with what brings you joy, without goals
Don't compare with superlatives, go with the flow.
I wasn't good in making nails from the start, I got better by doing it continually for about 3 years now. The same thing applies to literally anything else.
Just experiment, no expectations.
reset and root in core values
I had too many distractions pulling me away from what I value.
money is a tool, not a goal.
knowledge gives perspective, wisdom is action in words.
practice what you preach.
Be the change you want to see in the world.
family first.
work on confidence
I want to improve on my deeper issues that went under my radar for too long.
Be more gentle with myself, I am still young and can't compare myself with others.
I want to become a better version of myself, not entirely new version with force.
Be kind
I have to admit, the past year I got very cynical.
I was very frustrated and let it out on others.
I want to be better next year.
Now I will drink more tea and read my books again.
I didn't think I would receive so many votes for this one.
The topic was "body art".
Todays topic is party night.
I didn't want to do something boring and thought of something expressive, maybe the mask for a masquerade party.
I also received more likes than I thought.
Also my order from shein arrived <3
I ordered another bag of these gems but in silver this time.
two pairs of soles, so I don't have to switch my current one like all the time between boots.
Ordered more tights as well.
The ones I ordered last time are really pretty but they break instantly.
I figured I order different ones to see how they will turn out before getting more of one that break then.
There was an order with 3 pcs in a coffee color..I love how dark this one is.
I wanted to have a brown one, like actually BROWN.
I have seen a video of a german influencer like two years ago on instagram showing the difference between black see-through tights and brown ones.
They more or less give the same appearance, but the brown ones are softer and don't look so harsh.
Which is not only pretty but also useful when doing outfits with light colors (cream,white,pastels etc.).
However I never could find BROWN ones...they always were in like, a caramel shade or smth, or opaque and not see-through.
another pair of skin-colored ones.
Let's hope these are good <3
I also ordered bras...in this offer are 3 pairs.
I wanted to choose these because I was looking for bras that are like tops.
This is exactly what I am looking for!!!
Pads that cover nipples and give the boobs a nice shape but with no wire or weird cut.
and it is like a top -> not tight.
I haven't worn it yet, I hope it fits.
I got a fake piercing for like 70cents.
why? I was thinking of getting another piercing but I didn't want to spend 50 bucks for another hole in my face which then looks awful because I already have a stud on my other side.
I quickly tried it out and I like how it looks!
However it is a bit small, I believe if I want to get one I need a bigger circumference.
The nail tips I was talking about (or did I talk about it?).
Another 3XL box but in coffin shape because I get sick of stilettos.
These buttons are the perfect size!!
I actually got it for my nails lmao.
I want to use these for my next nail design.
A bunch of nail polishes haha.
I quickly looked through them and they are gorgeeeoouus.
In total 22 colors for like...9,80€?
I have to admit they are small...I didn't think about checking the ml.
It's cute though haha...and honestly, I doubt I will finish them that quickly.
I will swatch them tomorrow or latest this weekend to see how they look.
and at least one dress..
I will also show tomorrow or smth.
but here is a lil sneak-peak <3
I am in love and you know why?
This dress has done two things right, which most fail at:
1. the dress that is supposed to cover you up underneath these mesh fabrics IS THE SAME LENGTH, not shorter.
2. the dress underneath the mesh fabrics is SEWN ON.
I hate, hate, HATE how all the time these long maxi/midi-dresses have a shorter dress underneath, you can see-through and it pretty much destroys the purpose of a longer dress AND it looks bad.
Also it is annoying it slowly slides up on your body.
I often have the problem that these cover dresses end up just below the buttcheeks sometimes (good luck noticing on time).
If it is sewn on, the whole dress might slide up but at least you can pull it down without having to lift up the upper dress and you don't look weird.
Plus...this dress was like 11€...worth it, even not worn and tried on yet.
I also planned to write this one at the end but started writing it at around the middle of my post blogging progress haha. I also think it is not bad that I wasn't able to write this text so soon.
I had plenty of time now to think...and re-think many things.
I thought about doing this kind of post like in the middle of my travel, when I had so many different impressions, it would come handy to have a little summary I think.
I am thinking about a lot of things on a daily basis and there were things I wondered about Singapore before going there.
I personally appreciate so much how much of a good host I had. She was very open-minded and we could talk about many different topics, which also helped me understand things better, but also have an additional perspective come into play.
I had all sorts of emotions inside of me during my 3 weeks...it was pretty much a rollercoaster.
For this post I also have a little bonus. I know not many people like it but I thought it would be nice to let ChatGPT come into play as well.
I used it sometimes while my travel and I think it would also be interesting to add some information to my impressions.
This is less a text about "how things are" and more become the format of "how I have seen these things from my perspective and what ChatGPT can add to this", if you get me.
I think it is also important to note: I live in the german countryside, middle class, my family owns two houses in which one we live in, grew up catholic but am atheist, we are germans with a russian family side and migration background. These are a few points that shape me as a person but also shape my view of things.
I think it's important to remember tiny details like this when talking about other cultures. To me this travel was very exciting and I was surprised, despite how I knew about some of these things before-hand, how weird they could be to me. How much it would be difficult to adjust at some points as well.
Let's start.
over 12.000km away from home
I booked it and then told my family, that way they can't say no.
My mum freaked out. She was fine with me going alone to mallorca but alone to the other side of the world was terrifying to her: "If something happens with you at mallorca, In two hours I am there...but what do I do when something happens over there? I can't just come.".
ChatGPT says: Singapore is over 10,000 km away from Germany, with an average flight time of about 12–13 hours. The psychological concept of "proximity safety" explains why parents often feel more at ease if they believe they could physically reach their child quickly.
It was a liberating feeling to me but also I was nervous, I wasn't scared though.
I was going alone and I am used to go places alone and I am used to live in a place where "there is nothing to do", so I couldn't quite wrap my mind around what I am supposed to do there alone.
A lot of activities are for people in company, not for loners. I was worried I get bored and even packed 3 books with me...later turned out: none of them I opened.
I looked up some things to do online but I also wasn't sure what my budget could handle, so decided to do most of it randomly when I am there. Whatever interests me.
All I knew is where my school is and the address of my host. Strangers.
I never use public transport and was afraid I might get lost. I usually get lost having to use public transport in germany + in germany the public transports are horrible.
Google maps have shown the way from my host to the school is over an hour.
ChatGPT says: In Singapore, the average commute time by public transport is about 45–60 minutes, which is very normal for students and workers alike. Singapore’s MRT (Mass Rapid Transit) is known globally for being one of the most efficient and safest transit systems. Many students travel long distances daily, especially if they attend prestigious schools or universities not near their home.
My mum freaked out again "What do these school people expect? How can they just let you alone taking all this way to school?". I was very irritated by her comment.
I am 25.
Me and my dad looked at each other like..
All I could respond was "mum...that's normal everywhere. WE are spoiled and used to the school being 5 minutes away by feet. That's not the case for other people around the world."
When we lived in town: 5 minutes by feet. I practically lived in the neighbourhood of my school.
When we moved to the countryside: still just 15 minutes with the train. The station 5 minutes away from school.
When I was younger I always wanted to move far far away. I desired independence from my family but over the years I got used to it. It also made me slightly lazy. Here with my family I live in my comfort zone that I rarely leave.
I have lots of financial advantages because of it as well.
Every time when I feel like I need to move away to break out of my boring every day life I am thinking of all the financial struggles I would have.
I am grateful for what I have here.
Still I wanted to experience it.
I wanted to see if the grass is greener on the other side you could say.
The first day over there I was still excited, but also a bit nervous.
My host greeted me friendly and gave me some time alone in my room to get things at the right place.
It was evening when my journey started and evening again when I arrived, I skipped a day.
My mind was racing with a hundred questions: I need a sim for my phone, can I pay with card here, where is my school, what train do I have to take.
My host took a walk with me around the neighourhood to show me the way to the MRT and the mall, needless to say I could remember nothing. My sense of direction is incredibly bad, I can only have orientation by memory but I have never been here.
She has shown me a picture of the MRT map and which exits I have to take to get to school.
I was so lucky she has shown me the picture, I had 2-3 points that were part of my memory then and I easily found the way to school even with never being there.
Orientation was incredibly bad the first couple days.
It was just too much. Too many buildings, too many people, too many streets.
Sensory overload.
ChatGPT says: Sensory overload happens when your brain takes in more information than it can process — common in high-density urban settings like Singapore, which has over 5.9 million residents in an area smaller than Hamburg. Singapore is one of the most densely populated countries in the world — over 8,000 people per square kilometer, compared to about 230 in Germany.
It got better over time. I was practically training my orientation but regardless, over the whole vacation I struggled a lot with orientation. I had a couple moments where I was just like "screw it...I don't need to go there, just find something closeby, whatever my eyes see".
The impressions were clearly different from the german countryside.
But also different from german towns.
What I noticed straight away was the amount of malls and restaurants and small businesses.
This was very unusual for me!
Businesses, wherever you see. It felt like there was almost no empty spot left.
ChatGPT says: Singapore has one of the highest densities of malls in the world. Malls are not just for shopping — they function as social hubs, especially due to the tropical climate (air conditioning!). Eating out is very common in Singapore due to the prevalence of hawker centres and affordable food options. In fact, many locals eat out more often than they cook at home.
I didn't think it would happen (it never happened before) but I got homesick.
I felt so out of place. I was overwhelmed.
Culture shock.
It was like day 2 or 3 when I went to my host and asked if I can have a talk with her.
I didn't want to spend my evenings "locked" in my room.
I am glad she agreed and liked to talk as well.
That way I could root myself again and get over my homesickness.
ChatGPT says: Homesickness is very common, especially during the first few days of international travel. It's not just missing "home," but also the comfort of routines and familiarity. Studies show that social connection — even with strangers — can significantly reduce feelings of isolation during travel.
Singaporean people
What I knew before-hand was that singapore was supposed to be a multicultural nation with most people being chinese or indians.
I wondered how people could live together like that in peace, especially because migration is a big topic in germany at this time!!
ChatGPT says: Singapore is one of the most ethnically diverse countries in Asia. As of 2023, about 75% of residents are ethnically Chinese, 15% Malay, and 7.5% Indian. Unlike many Western nations, Singapore has a top-down approach to multiculturalism: policies actively encourage ethnic harmony, such as housing quotas that require ethnic mixing within public housing (HDB flats). In Germany, immigration and integration are more recent developments and remain socially and politically debated topics, especially regarding religion and values.
It was quite surreal but at the same time, not as multicultural as I expected. I felt like the different nationalities mixed well, instead of clashing.
Most people I have seen were asian, although I can not exactly say how many were chinese..I only know that most of asians in singapore are chinese. My host even asked me "what do you think of the malay here?" and I answered "I don't know who is malay". I really couldn't tell. The second most people I have seen were indian. I think they mix quite good together is because their religions are not very different from each other. In germany it's the other way around: our migrants are mostly muslim and we are a christian nation, our values don't harmonize well and constantly brings up debates.
Although one of the singaporean official languages is english, the older people don't speak english that well. In the MRT the announces are made in 3 (!) languages and you could sometimes see people only reacting to their own language. However I cannot say wether they are singaporean or travelers. It was a weird feeling for me regardless. To me it would be like being in germany and the train has an arabic anouncement right after the german one (or turkish, or russian since we have a lot of them too). Additionally, In general I found singaporean very hard to comprehend. I myself am not a native english speaker so I felt like I was coming off as arrogant after I told my host "I don't think you singaporean people speak english well" and she was surprised by my statement. Maybe it was also the dialect that made it hard for me. After I have made that statement to her I thought a lot about wether I was rude to think that way. There are many dialects in the german language, some even I as a german don't understand, it doesn't mean it is not german though. Maybe I walked sideways here and should have kept silent about it.
ChatGPT says: Singapore has four official languages: English, Mandarin, Malay, and Tamil. English is the primary working and educational language — but it’s often spoken with a local twist known as “Singlish,” a creole influenced by Chinese dialects, Malay, Tamil, and British English. To outsiders, Singlish can sound like “bad English,” but it’s a legitimate local dialect and a marker of Singaporean identity.
I have rarely seen white people btw. and if I did I could clearly tell they were travelers, or they worked there but aren't singaporean because their accent were a lot clearer. I talked with colleagues about the many different people I have seen there and one of them asked me how many black people (in percentage) I have seen and I couldn't remember. I am not sure if I have seen any tbh. There were some from America or France at my school but when I was out in the streets, I can't think I have seen any.
ChatGPT says: Singapore’s migration model is highly selective. It's not designed for open resettlement but prioritizes highly skilled professionals or temporary labor from nearby countries. Most foreign residents are from Asia — including domestic helpers from the Philippines and Indonesia, construction workers from Bangladesh, and professionals from India, China, or Malaysia. Western expats (often white) are typically in Singapore for corporate jobs, and live in distinct areas or condos.
I think that's probably because migration is a lot harder in singapore, it is far away and maybe not many people are interested in living and working there. When I was in Sentosa, me and my classmate wondered about how much the villas probably cost there and ChatGPT told me that Sentosa was the only place foreigners were allowed to own property in singapore! That's also an additional point, combined with the whole HDB- complex situation that is reserved only for Singaporeans it makes all sense.
ChatGPT says: Foreigners in Singapore can’t buy public housing (HDB flats), which about 80% of Singaporeans live in. They are allowed to buy private property — mostly condos — but with restrictions. Sentosa Cove is one of the few places foreigners can buy landed property (villas, houses) without needing special government approval.
The people over there were very friendly and relaxed. Nobody looked at each other like in Germany. Over here people stare at you. In Singapore everyone just does their own stuff.
ChatGPT says:
Singapore is often described as “low-conflict but low-touch” — people are polite and non-confrontational, but less emotionally expressive in public.
Public space norms are more “introverted”: talking loudly, staring, or physical closeness is often seen as rude. This could also be tied to the collectivist culture: standing out isn’t encouraged, and social harmony is valued.
Also because to them I was "very tall and very pretty", they were interested and asked me where I am from etc. I received a lot of compliments. That was unusual for me as well. One staff from a mall said "you look like barbie" and my host said as well "you could be a model here". I am just average in my eyes and far away from being a model. All the attention was a bit too much for me, because I am quite introverted in social settings as well.
ChatGPT says: In many East and Southeast Asian countries, Western features (fair skin, tall height, lighter hair) are sometimes idealized, especially in media. This doesn’t necessarily reflect actual beauty preferences but can be shaped by pop culture, globalization, and media influence.
In my opinion they were all very slow too. I think because of the heat it makes more sense to be calm but I am naturally fast-paced and I was the one person that constantly ran inbetween the groups of people from one place to another.
ChatGPT says: Singapore has a hot, humid, equatorial climate — average temperatures are 30–34°C year-round with high humidity. People walk more slowly for comfort, and air-conditioned spaces (like malls) become natural gathering spots.
Between HDB and malls: Singaporean lifestyle
This is a point that was probably the hardest for me to adjust to. I went from a low-key countryside where everyone knows everyone with nothing to do besides going for a walk in the forest to a metropolis with malls everywhere.
I was torn. I couldn't decide wether I liked it or found it absolutely terrifying.
The first couple days I was like "Ahhhh...so many places to choose from! so many pretty clothes! so many shops!!" and later on I found it dystopian "people here are quite poor and they make themselves poorer by constantly buying stuff!". If you know me for a longer time from my blog or from social media you might have noticed that I challenge overconsumption and try to keep it as a reasonable level, but also I like owning a lot of stuff. Either because I like the change (for example clothes) or because I need to satisfy my collecting habit (having every color of a lipstick series). I also indulge myself a lot in topics like investing and canceling out bad habits. Being in a place like singapore where you constantly have shops in front of your nose was irritating. I was happy about the variety but also it kept reminding me to "stay ground" and appreciate simplicity. Maybe I can write another blog post sometime about my views regarding this topic if you are interested.
ChatGPT says: Singapore has one of the highest numbers of malls per capita in the world. Malls serve multiple purposes: retail, restaurants, recreation, education, healthcare, even libraries or prayer spaces. This “mall-ification” of public life is also linked to climate — the air-conditioning provides refuge from the heat and rain.
Because of the climate, people seek indoors. Malls and train stations were connected to each other underground. Sometimes you would pass hours inside somewhere without any windows. Inside the buildings, windows are rare, or completely missing. You couldn't tell what was going on outside "is it raining? is the sun still out?". I had moments where I went underground while it was raining and when I went back outside it was sunny again and I had no clue when it stopped. It made me depressed actually. I had a couple moments where I was seeking to get out of wherever I was. I didn't mind baring the heat for a while. Some places, the A/C was so cold, I wish I had a pullover. I was literally freezing at some places. Newcomers at school got sick, one after another. The random times raining doesn't help. Warm, rain, wet, cold...in this order can be dangerous. I am surprised I didn't get sick tbh, but that's probably because also I have the habit to always cover my shoulders. Even in summer, I have to wear thin little jackets. It's not often my shoulders are open and only over there in singapore I took it off sometimes tbh, because it was just so damn hot.
ChatGPT says: Singapore has a tropical rainforest climate — average temps hover around 30–34°C (86–93°F) with high humidity and unpredictable rain. To combat this, many buildings are linked via underground passages (like CityLink Mall or Marina Square). The intense air-conditioning is known locally as the “Singapore freeze” — a common complaint among locals and expats alike.
The host I was staying at had a housekeeper from Myanmar and it was the first thing I looked up with ChatGPT upon my arrival. Having a housekeeper here in Germany means you are wealthy. Some can afford to hire someone cleaning like once a week but not someone who lives with you and works almost 24/7. It is actually quite common there, because helpers are cheap in singapore and because most families have both partners working, it is a necessity there. The helper was cleaning, watching over the grandmother and their son and she cooked food for everyone. I was surprised when my host told me she can't cook. I think you don't need to be an expert in it, but it is a basic skill to me...here apparently not so basic.
ChatGPT says: There are around 250,000+ foreign domestic workers in Singapore, mostly from the Philippines, Indonesia, and Myanmar. It’s common for middle-class families to hire live-in helpers, often due to dual-income households and caregiving responsibilities (children or elderly). Domestic helpers live under strict legal regulations, including work permits, employer sponsorship, and limited legal rights.
I told her to me it is easier to work part-time as well, because I also have to do my housework, which she replied to "can't you ask your mum to clean your apartment?". I wouldn't even think about it haha. To me I think "your parents took care of you 18 years and raised you to take charge of your own life. If at all, it should be the opposite way. Your parents get older, can't move as well or have difficulties with it. You have to help them". I should mention at this point neither of us judged each other for our opinions, it rather was an enriching cultural exchange to talk about it.
I also have to mention their parents might be older than mine, but are A WHOLE LOT FITTER. Her aunt, who is 80, could be just a couple years older than my mum if I didn't know her age. Even my host looked 20, but she was 38. They age different I swear. I talked to my host about this too, that I couldn't tell peoples ages and she assured me she had the same problem with their indian neighbours.
The entrepreneurial mindset in singapore was motivating, but also depressive. I constantly switched between these two and I still can't decide. There is a lot of competition but seeing everyone having their businesses and not being afraid to try, is also quite motivating. I posted some of these quotes in my travel posts as well. This mindset is in the air wherever you went.
It made me think "look how big this world is, there is a market for everything", but at the same time discouraged me "look, there is no market where you live. Succeeding in a market like in singapore is crazy." I admire everyone that makes it tbh.
ChatGPT says: Singapore ranks highly on the Global Innovation Index and Ease of Doing Business Index.
It’s a tech and startup hub in Southeast Asia, especially in fintech, logistics, and e-commerce. There’s intense competition, but also lots of government grants for local entrepreneurs and SMEs.
Being surrounded by that many people made me feel lonely as well. I find it hard to find words to describe the feelings I had. Where I live you know everyone and the world feels so small, which can discourage you if you want to try something big and you stick to the secure options instead but it also is giving you a sense of familarity...of belonging somewhere. In Singapore, I felt like a nobody. I felt like just another body. I think especially in metropolises like that, it is soo damn important to have your people around, wether it's family or friends. Being alone is an alienating feeling in a big city.
ChatGPT says: Urban loneliness is a well-documented phenomenon — especially in high-density cities where people are always around, but rarely connect. Psychologists note that being surrounded by people without emotional ties can increase feelings of isolation, more so than physical solitude.
I had a talk with my host about dating as well. I think being surrounded by that many people makes it easier to date, but also less committing? On the countryside you are able to commit more easily, but it is difficult to find a partner, especially when you stand out. She told me a lot of women in Singapore have that "drive" and they want to get better, whereas the men are happy with what they got. That's why a lot of women are single in Singapore. She herself wants to get as much money as possible, but her motivation is to be able to provide for her son. She told me a story about a wealthy man, about same level like her cousin (or sister?), and her cousin was interested in him but when shown him a picture of her he didn't want her and even described her as "ugly". She told me that if a man is wealthy, they are highly selective of their partner and that guy is still single after all these years. It all sounded too familiar to me, it is an on-going problem all over the world. People don't find a partner or reject those they would get.
ChatGPT says: Singapore has a rising number of highly educated, financially independent women — especially in urban areas. Many Singaporean men face pressure to “earn more” or “be stable” before marrying. The marriage rate is declining, and singlehood (especially among women) is rising. The government has tried to address this through campaigns promoting dating, marriage, and parenthood (e.g., matchmaking events, subsidies for childbearing).
I am not pro-woman, neither pro-man. I actually get sick of these discussions and rather have everyone get some sense in their head. Maybe you can remember in one of my posts, they have shown a poster about "not rushing into marriage" or promoting reducing population in singapore. I think it is sad when people can't make families or kids. Those are some of my most important values, needless to say what my opinion about these kind of campaigns are. However, at the same time I understand in Singapore there is not much space. I guess it is better for them not to expand as much? It definitely was interesting to hear, that the phenomenoms we have over here in germany, pretty much exists 1:1 over there too.
ChatGPT says: Singapore once had a “Stop at Two” policy (1970s–80s) to reduce birthrates. Now, the problem is the opposite — very low fertility rates (1.05 as of 2023). Current campaigns now encourage marriage and parenthood, not the opposite.
The HDBs have some kind of familiar feeling to it, but they can be dystopian in my eyes as well. A bunch of big buildings one after another. People stuck into tiny places. It got me claustrophobic. When you walked in the evening back home, you could see people meeting each other on the first level, to talk, to play...yet I couldn't make friends with it. I rather live in a house far away from the next person.
ChatGPT says: Over 80% of Singaporeans live in HDB (Housing Development Board) flats — government-built apartments designed for affordability and ethnic integration. HDB estates are often self-contained with shops, clinics, schools, and transport nearby. While efficient, many visitors describe them as “uniform” or “confining.”
What also was a big question mark in my head before going to singapore how I will get along with the camera surveillance everywhere. In Germany private data is a sensitive information and the people HATE when there are cameras anywhere or they have to enter their name somewhere. I also am not a fan of surveillance, because of the lack of freedom but at the same time I wondered if you'd actually feel safer. Every corner had a camera, every each one of them. I didn't mind walking around anywhere, wether that was during the day or at night. I feel less safe in my own town and we don't have a dense popularity or high crime like in the big cities in germany. I can't decide wether I liked it, or I rather have no surveillance. I find it difficult to point out if the surveillance had anything to do with it.
ChatGPT says: Singapore has one of the highest densities of CCTV surveillance globally. It’s estimated that tens of thousands of cameras are in use, especially in public housing estates, MRT stations, and city centers. The system is part of Singapore’s broader “Smart Nation” initiative, focused on using data and AI to improve urban living — but it does raise privacy trade-offs. Crime rates are among the lowest in the world — many locals credit strict laws and surveillance for that.
Although Singapore is called to be a "green city", I felt like there was almost no nature. I talked about it in my posts. I missed the flowers, the colors, the big fields.. The greens you could find here were all planned, planted, matched to the surroundings. I didn't like it. Also compared to what I am used to, I didn't feel like I was in a green city at all..but that is coming out of the mouth of someone who literally lives in the black forest. Here are more trees than houses.
ChatGPT says: Singapore is known as a "City in a Garden” — but its nature is highly curated. Over 40% of land is covered by greenery, but this includes parks, sky gardens, and green walls. Natural wild spaces (like Bukit Timah Nature Reserve or Pulau Ubin) exist but are limited and often deliberately preserved, not free-growing.
Singapore has a rich cuisine but there were also differences to germany. Here they have hawkers for example. The food is very delicious and compared to my place very cheap! I had troubles finding food that is not spicy though. Indians and Chinese both love eating spicy. Even the less spicy dishes were quite a lot for me to handle. On my last day, my host invited me to eat soup for brunch. She knew I can't eat spicy and she thought I could handle it but it turned out to be too spicy for me.
The restaurants on the other hand are a lot more expensive. Here tips are already included in the bill and my european self hated it. At first I didn't really notice until someone from school pointed it out to me. I didn't think someone would charge tips upfront like that. I feel like tips are reserved if I felt like the service was outstanding and deserved, not to be required.
ChatGPT says: Hawker centres are subsidized by the government to keep street food affordable — meals often cost between 2 to 6 SGD (around €1.30–€4). Spiciness is a common element in many Southeast Asian cuisines — especially Indian, Malay, and Szechuan-influenced Chinese dishes. Tipping is not part of the culture — 10% service charge + 7–9% tax is automatically added at most sit-down restaurants.
Being back home
Despite all of these challenges.... Despite me leaving my comfort zone for 3 weeks.... I cried when I had to leave.
I really enjoyed my time in Singapore. I hated having to leave my host.
One thing I cherished a lot while I was over there, was the lack of politics. Yes, you heard that right.
It became such a norm here in germany to constantly talk about politics, even over there the only people who talked about it were the germans (oh the irony).
Having a break of all that...just living and existing was such a relief.
Over there you didn't have to think about politics that much because it was the politicians who did their jobs. Here they all fail or do the opposite of what's good for the people, so the people themselves are too invested.
ChatGPT says: Singapore has a more top-down political culture — daily discourse around politics is less common in public spaces or casual conversation. Many Singaporeans are cautious about voicing political opinions openly, especially compared to Germans, who are culturally encouraged to debate and criticize authority. The People’s Action Party (PAP) has ruled since independence in 1965. Governance is seen as highly technocratic and pragmatic, and the state invests heavily in public services like housing, transport, and education — which might explain why you felt the “politicians do their job.”
Another thing I will miss is liveliness. In Germany everything is regulated and orderly, I guess people coming to our country will think we are stiff, no fun and have something "stuck up our a*ses". Which is true I guess. It did no harm to have a flexible routine during the day.
ChatGPT says: Singapore blends efficiency with spontaneity — people follow rules, but hawker centres are messy, social life is fast-moving, and business culture rewards improvisation. Germany, in contrast, values structure, thoroughness, and precision, even in everyday tasks.
What I missed about germany, and I only realised when I returned. Silence <3 In Singapore there was constant noise, even at night...when I got out of the airplane at Frankfurt, to get my luggage...I felt like being in one of these zombie movies, where you wake up and everyones gone. Also partly because the density of people is a lot less here. I didn't realise how much of a headache I got from all the noise. The sounds at the MRT, the same damn announcements, the streets and people walking, the traffic signals that made these distinct sounds as well. Here in the countryside...even more quiet than in Frankfurt.
I actually would like to show you. I get trauma flashbacks when I hear these sounds again HAHA I am not joking
Now, what after all that? I still annoy my colleagues about my vacation "well in singapore it was like.." haha.
Will I go back? If the finances make it possible: definite yes.
Even after 3 weeks I couldn't explore everything, at some point I was just tired and didn't want to explore anymore. Singapore did became like a second home to me though, even more than croatia (we went there every year when I was younger).
However, I think about going to Japan next...maybe again with EF?
I have to see what my finances allow because I actually try to save.
I didn't ask for it, but ChatGPT suggested a poetic finish and I had to LAUGH because of how accurate it is:
I came back with no tan, three unread books, a deeper appreciation for quiet — and a louder hunger for more.
Next stop? We’ll see. The world’s big, and I’ve only just started scratching its surface.
I got not tan...everyone was surprised why I got paler hahahahahaha.
Please leave a comment how you like posts like this. <3
over 12.000km away from home
