head is burning

 

I was just saying the past few days that I need to calm down and I was not able to calm down.

Like damn...my head is hurting so much.

I had to re-learn how to style bangs and additionally every work day now I overslept...It is not because I did not have enough sleep...idk I was just so tired.

I think it was because I was overdoing it with my head.

I was doing an eyeliner on my lid again but for some reason I thought it did not look good at all that day..I was very dissatisfied with my makeup...my hair was...ok...like I somehow managed my bangs after like a million years and I thought I could leave it like this...probably also why I was running late cuz I kept fixing it.

I felt like something was off and was searching for accessories and put a hairneedle in.

It looked so much better to me lmao.

pullover...N/A (I think bonprix or c&a?)

necklace...C&A

skirt...AliEx

shoes...AliEx

hair accessories (not on picture)...kaufland

The weather was looking so bad that morning and the whole day it was just very dark but not too cold.

It made me desperate, I finally want good weather....like really want it.

I was not able to make any pictures that day cuz I was more late than usually late.

And I looked like shit anyway.

The morning I closed one of my derivates when it was highest to prevent any further losses and I thought about a new strategy.

The morning I received this post on my timeline and it motivated me so much.

(I do not follow that account, someone reposted it)

Normally I am not into these super positive spiritual posts or whatever but this time it felt like this post was sent to me...

...and in the evening I finally succeeded a bit.

It is not much, also because I did not put much money in yet, especially compared to my losses.

I also stepped out very early with the approach "a win is a win, before it becomes a loss".

They are tiny steps forward and I feel like I am getting the hang of it.

I still have two open positions that I left for over the weekend.

On monday I have a day off, so I have enough time and the possibility to keep working on it.

It is very difficult handling it while also having to work because you have to keep an eye on it to catch the right moments!!

So I prefer doing it when I have a day off.

I had to work this saturday and I felt very pretty that day!

At first my bangs looked horrible and even tho I was able to do the parting better, I felt like they did not look good and AS ALWAYS HAHA I was running late.

I figured it must be because of the bangs missing a curve on the tips?

And I was like fuck it, I am gonna do it now despite running late..

And it looked soooo much better!!!!

I also left out the liner on the lid...but I mentioned having an idea with the makeup, I wasn't able to try it out yet...so maybe...when maybe some day I stand up more punctually...maybe I will be able to try it haha.

It is more than a wonder that I am still somehow punctual on work considering how I am running out last minute each time...there has to be just one unfortunate event in traffic and I will definitely be too late. 

When I say "I am running late", I don't mean I wasn't punctual haha.

I prefer standing up on time and being chill in the morning but these days I just can't

necklace...Jesus Diamante

dress/cardigan/shoes...AliEx

hair accessory...kaufland

In the evening I was meeting an ex-boss of me (that sounds so ridiculous but idk how to describe it), we still kept contact over the years and sometimes meet up and talk a bit.

I think it is always a refreshing enrichment to have a conversation with someone who can give you additional povs.

Over the whole day I had a bad headache so I told him I won't stay for long..

I still kept talking with him until like 10pm? lol

But went back home and went back to bed after listening to some music.

I am keeping my word to myself and try to relax as much as possible today.

I promised my mum to make her nails in the afternoon but it won't take long for hers.

I pretty much just put some gel on it, sprinkle acrylic to harden it a bit more before she puts it under the UV-light (I layer it a bit to make it thicker) and then put a simple design on it.

I actually wanted to bake some muffins but decided to first do some sports, dancing to a bit music and "waking up" my body...I felt like writing now because I had an idea again but somehow ended up here haha.

So let's see when and what and how.

I am having a day off tomorrow where I might work on my projects again but try to keep it more calm before having to go back to ...real work lol.

Maybe I post again today...hmm.

but until then C-YA!